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Calculus puns 🧮 in 2023

Never take a calculus exam when you are sitting next to two identical twins.
– It’s really hard to differentiate between them.

When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.
– He remembered to add the sea.

Calculus Teacher: It’s not the Uncle Derivative.
It’s the Auntie Derivative.

First day of calculus summer session today…
(Right before I leave)

Mom:Be safe driving over there

Me: Ok, Mom

Dad: Be safe deriving over there

Me: Goddamnit

What’s the single form of calculus?
– Calculme.

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated in between two identical twins.
– I couldn’t differentiate between them.

In college i thought General Calculus was a Roman war hero

Why is the south bad at calculus?
– They don’t know how to integrate.

I started doing calculus today
– My understanding is limited

I believe it is absolutely nessesery to teach our childer calculus.
– It’s an integral part of education.

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated next to two identical twins.
– It was impossible to differentiate between them.

You might think my calculus jokes are derivative, but they’re an integral part of me.

How does Donald Trump do calculus integration?
– He makes sure to grab it by the +c

I wrote two full pages of working out for my Calculus class…
– Seems like Calcumore to me!

My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
– At this rate, he will never be there on time.

I’ll do algebra, I’ll put up with calculus,
– But graphing is where I draw the line.

My Calculus Professor is having a tough time adjusting to retired life.
He can’t seem to deal with the aftermath.

What do you call a wizard who is good at calculus?
– A mathemagician

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