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Green puns in 2024

Have a green thumb

Stadiums are going to be so much hotter this summer
They’ll be missing all their fans…
Thanks Hank Green!

You kale me with kindness.

What is big, green and can kill you if it falls out of a tree?
– A pool table.

I was recently diagnosed as being colourblind, it really came out of the green.

There is one past US President that particularly loved his vegetables, his name is Broc-Obama.

I was sailing at sea when I came across a banana boat carrying a lettuce. It suddenly shouted out “Iceberg, right ahead!”

If you ever have a pirate to dinner, be sure to serve their favorite green vegetable. In case you didn’t know, it’s an arrr-tichoke.

You know why environmentalism is said to be green?
– Because the earth is sick of the hypocrisy of the protesters who claim to be defending it.

Do you know why green beans are so zen?
– They’ve finally found their inner peas.

I overheard a green bean meeting a banana for the first time the other day. The bean asked, “How are you peeling today?”

Your good seed for the day

What did the golf course say to the golfer?
– You are tee-riffic.

What do you call the guy who is always sitting in the garden sunbathing?
– Your brother-in-lawn.

You may be a bit green, but I leek you.

Shrek and The Hulk have very similar political beliefs. They both always vote for the Green party.

Mmm, matcha say?

What did the green bean say when he met a banana for the first time?
– Hey, how you peeling?

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