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Green puns 🟢 in 2023

If a doctor fixes you up with duct tape…
He’ll have turned you from being black and blue into being Red Green.

Don’t kale my vibe.

It’s hard to get anything done at a vegetarian dinner party. You end up with too much on your plate.

Seed between the lines

Don’t forget your kha-ki’s mum, you said we’re going for a drive.

Why are pool tables green?
– You’d be green too if you had your balls shot around like that…

There’s a great church nearby, with a living roof and walls. It also has some great stained grass windows.

Green and Yellow recently split up. Green has been very blue ever since.

What do green tea drinkers sing as an anthem?
– Sweet dreams are made of tea, who am I to dis-a-green.

What do you call a mis-shapen green bean?
– A zom-bean.

If you have never heard of a green diamond, you should look them up right now. They’re known as sham rocks.

Ants in your plants

Sometimes in life, you just have to green and bear it.

We are all about lawn and order. If you don’t keep off the grass we’ll have to call lawn enforcement, special grass unit.

Looking for puns about being happy?
– How about spreading some hap-pea-ness.

What do you call the leftover bits of salad left in the bowl? The last Romaines.

My favorite color is green
But I’ve been warming up to orange lately

Biscuits and green tea, it’s like matcha made in heaven.

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