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Green puns 🟢 in 2022

What do green tea drinkers sing as an anthem?
– Sweet dreams are made of tea, who am I to dis-a-green.

What do you call a mis-shapen green bean?
– A zom-bean.

If you have never heard of a green diamond, you should look them up right now. They’re known as sham rocks.

Ants in your plants

Sometimes in life, you just have to green and bear it.

We are all about lawn and order. If you don’t keep off the grass we’ll have to call lawn enforcement, special grass unit.

Looking for puns about being happy?
– How about spreading some hap-pea-ness.

What do you call the leftover bits of salad left in the bowl? The last Romaines.

My favorite color is green
But I’ve been warming up to orange lately

Biscuits and green tea, it’s like matcha made in heaven.

There’s no need to panic, please romaine calm.

Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.

What’s green and smells just like red paint? Green paint.

When global warming causes you to see cow skulls in places that used to be green…
– you’ll know we’ve reached the cow tipping point.

I’ve bean thinking about you.

Leprechauns make great gardeners. In fact, it is widely believed that they have green thumbs.

All dressed up and nowhere to grow

My green thumb is like the Hulk: always pissed off and inherently talented at destroying things.

How do you know Kermit didn’t have asthma?
– Because it’s not wheezy being green.

What do keepers sometimes feed to captive animals?
– Zoo-chini.

I overheard a traffic light talking the other day. The green light exclaimed to the red light, “Don’t look! I’m changing!”

What’s green and red and goes up and down up and down?
– A frog in a blender

This has probably been said a thousand times, but my girlfriend somehow didn’t find it hysterical.
While making dinner tonight for the family, my girlfriend wanted to add more of that dark, leafy, and easily pun-able green called Kale.
Girlfriend: Can I add more kale?
Me: Won’t that be over-kale?

There’s one great green fruit that you should eat to maintain your fitness levels. Try adding a little avocardio into your diet.

My eldest was asking me the other day what green energy was. I replied, “Well, you mix blue and yellow energy together…”

Did you hear what the coffee said to the green tea?
– Sorry I’m latte.

Bean thinking about donating to our school fundraiser? Lettuce give you some advice.

I threw my green hat into the Black sea the other day to see what would happen. Nothing did; it just got wet.

Herb your enthusiasm

Looking for a green joke about golf?
– Let’s have a pun part-tee.

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