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Nurse puns 👩🏼‍⚕️🩺 in 2023

I don’t find nurse puns funny anymore since I developed an irony deficiency.

Nurses are very weird and always answer in a negative way. I told my registered nurse friend to stay safe during this pandemic, she just replied, “You stay negative”.

A snail went to the hospital when it felt sick. The nurse gave the dehydrated, poor animal a snailine solution.

During the surgery, the nurse told the expecting father that she would deliver the child. The bemused father replied that he would want his kid with the liver!

Don’t mess with me—I get paid to poke people with very sharp objects.

Nurses often have the best job in a hospital. They become the coolest person in the building when taking charge of the ultrasound duties!

I was once admitted to the hospital after I broke my leg. The room was very dark, so the nurse switched on the light and said, “Now, the doctor will see you”.

The only reason why nurses always carry red-colored pens or crayons with them is because they like to draw blood!

My wife is a cardio nurse. Whenever I go out to dinner with her, I can literally feel my heart racing all the time!

My brother is a dermatologist. He wanted to start his career again, so he restarted it from scratch!

Never upset a pediatric nurse. They have very little patients.

The young student nurse is known for casting a wide range of spells to treat her patients.
– I think she is a curse practitioner!

A very nervous patient was admitted to get a blood transfusion at the blood bank. The female nurse told her not to worry and B+!

The surgical team was performing a very serious transplant operation. They tried a lot but couldn’t do anything. The nurse had to inform the family as the doctor didn’t have the heart to tell them.

In the hospital, the young nurse constantly wanted to check on the patient that had a bad staph infection. So the doctor asked her as to why she was so abscess-ed with the patient.

My wife is a nurse. When I had to woo her, I had to be patient!

What did the nurse say to the man who fainted at the airport terminal?
– I think you might have a terminal illness.

A friend of mine is a doctor. He became a dermatologist as he took many rash decisions in life!

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