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Nurse puns 👩🏼‍⚕️🩺 in 2022

A patient called up a hospital to book an appointment with the doctor. When the nurse wanted to know which doctor the patient would visit, the patient exclaimed that any doctor would do barring a witch doctor!

My brother has wanted to be an osteopath ever since he was a kid.
– I think he felt it in his bones.

The nurse badly wanted to pursue her career as a stand-up comedian. In one of the comedy shows, she literally left everyone in the stitches!

The hospital in my town has a special unit where patients usually read aloud ‘Auld Lang Syne’, ‘A Red, Red Rose’, and other similar poems. I think it is definitely the Burns unit!

Why are nurses afraid of the outdoors?
– Too much poison IV.

My wife, who is a nurse, was talking me through her stressful day of following the national health protocols. I was trying to be supportive so I said, “WHO are they to tell you what to do!”

I once had an eye disorder and was admitted to the hospital. I told the nurse that I could often see things changing colors. The nurse reassured me by saying it was just a pigment of my own imagination!

The hospital in our town once ran a shortage of maternity nurses. It was an absolute midwife crisis!

No matter how much they wanted, TLC will never be allowed to be nurses. The sole reason being they don’t want no scrubs!

What do transplant nurses hate?
– Rejection.

The funniest thing about transplant nurses is that they cannot stand rejection!

My sister is a nurse at the state hospital. She told me that during her student days, the senior nurses told her to walk very slowly past the medicine cabinet so as not to wake the sleeping pills!

One day, Thor was taking care of his sick brother, Loki. He was trying to norse him back to life.

The little kid badly wanted to play hide and seek at the hospital, but his parents always found him in the ICU!

How do you know when a nurse is having a bad day?
– She won’t stop needling people.

The first time I met with my wife was when she was a student nurse.
– We met for a casual tea!

When the father of the girl who swallowed ten quarters enquired about her health, the nurse replied, “No change as of now”.

Nurses are very weird and always answer in a negative way. I told my registered nurse friend to stay safe during this pandemic, she just replied, “You stay negative”.

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