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Salad puns in 2024

We were eating caesar salad, then i stabbed it.
– ‘Now its a real ‘Caesar’ salad’

What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?
– Lettuce pray.

I didn’t take the job at the salad bar because the celery was too low.

I’ve been thinking of you.

Why did the carrot visit a psychic?
– To get its carrot cards read.

Leaf me alone!

Where did the salad dressing go for rehab?
– The Mayo Clinic

That was a close kale.

Joe had this awful dream last night he was making a salad. He was tossing all night.

That romaines a mystery…

I made a chicken salad this morning. This stupid thing is he won’t eat it.

I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.

What horror movie do all vegetables love?
– The silence of the Yams.

The corn farmer doesn’t like to make plans—he prefers to play everything by ear.

If you know any good jokes about salad, lettuce know will you!

Wife: I know you don’t like olives, but there are so many in this salad. I can’t get them out.
Me: Olive

Lettuce celebrate!

Why was the snowman embarrassed when shopping for carrots?
– It was picking its nose.

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