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Sewing puns 🧵 in 2023

I have been telling so many sewing jokes lately that I am out of material.

When I sat to stitch, I found out that the stitching matching was broken. It was my last stitch effort.

“I’m only hugging you to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.”

What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew!

Of course I talk to myself when I sew. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Eat, knit, laugh, repeat.

I needle the help I can get for this sewing project.

That man next door with such clothes always seamed sew-spicious to me.

Betsy: You set the Barre so high. I have to.

The sword swallower went to a sewing store to buy pins and needles he was on a diet

A clean house is a strong sign that the sewing machine is broken.

I was thinking of not going to the gym, but my mother said I should not quilt.

Last night I told my sister a funny joke on embroidery and she was all in stitches.

I would offer help button this occasion i think ill pass.

What do you call a gathering of quilters? A block party.

Yes, I have a sewing machine and yes I like to sew. No, I don’t want to hem your pants or fix your curtains for 1/3 the price of a tailor. Do it yourself if you think it takes a minute.

People who sew are lucky; they’ve got a singer in the house.

Think of me as the seam ripper and it’s best not to cross my path again anytime soon.

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