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Sewing puns in 2024

I was thinking of not going to the gym, but my mother said I should not quilt.

Last night I told my sister a funny joke on embroidery and she was all in stitches.

I would offer help button this occasion i think ill pass.

What do you call a gathering of quilters? A block party.

Yes, I have a sewing machine and yes I like to sew. No, I don’t want to hem your pants or fix your curtains for 1/3 the price of a tailor. Do it yourself if you think it takes a minute.

People who sew are lucky; they’ve got a singer in the house.

Think of me as the seam ripper and it’s best not to cross my path again anytime soon.

Look there they are all my scissors. Still sharp and neatly ordered. Said no seamstress ever.

What do you call a gangsta sewing group? Nittas With attitude

To sew or not to sew. What a silly question.

ProcastiKNITting: To defer all other activities besides knitting.

If Shakespeare writes a play on sewing, he would name it: To Sew Or Not To Sew

My friend only makes fabrics for people who live far way. He looms on the horizon.

Me: You’re bobbin in open water now.

I think my wife’s sewing machine is on the blink. I’m not sure what’s wrong, it just doesn’t seam right

I’m a fabricaholic on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m on the way to the fabric store.

The seamstress is charged to have stolen a sewing machine, and she seems quilty to me.

“My wife’s sewing machine isn’t working properly. Not sure what’s wrong with it though, it just seams a little off”

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