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knitting puns 🧶 in 2023

I suspect my friend has an unhealthy addiction to knitting quilts.
– I have seen all the patterns.

Tyrone got his knit together

The first man who invented wool discovered it by shear accident.

Knitting gets under my skein.

My friend has a lot of friends in her knitting class. Apparently, they’re a tight knit bunch.

Some needle jokes are so funny that they’ll leave you in stitches.

If you’re not good with one type of wool, you should quit before you waste too much material. It’s not worthwool.

Knitting is cheaper than therapy

Have you heard about the guy going around different towns and jabbing people with knitting needles?
– Police believe he is following some sort of pattern

Do you knit?
Knittaz 4 life
What up my knittah

A needle teenager really wanted to go to a movie. “Can I please have some cash?
– I needle some change for the film”, he begged his father.

We’re a tight-knit bunch.

A woman had to get her knitting needles fixed. They just didn’t seam right.

It’s easy to spot if someone is a knitting addict. They always have a stitch policy about who can use their needles.

Using forest logs is a sheep method to ignite a fire.

Halo. Do you like to knit?

The mother of my children just finished knitting a scarf
She wrapped it around her neck, and got her mouth and nose covered as well:

Me: Hey, you look like a wooligan!

She: … (glaring..) and you look awfully proud of yourself.

Indeed I was.

The balloon often goes to various needle concerts. He wants to become a pop star someday.

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