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Accounting puns in 2025

What did the accounting CPA get up to as a child?
– He used to account ants of course.

When an accountant boards the train they are always careful to mind the GAAP.

What did the accountant say to his client when the client complained about the tax return?
– Sorry, but that’s as good as it nets.

What’s an extroverted accountant?
– One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

Did you hear about the deviant Forensic Accountant?
– He got his client’s charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency.

What did the accountant say when he got a blank check?
– My deductions have at last caught up with the salary.

Every single person in the accounting department counts.

Why does Dior need accountants?
– Because they have so many scents.

Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
– For buttering up her clients.

What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
– Lonely.

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

What’s an accountant’s favorite clothing store?
– GAP of course.

How can you tell if an accountant is very good at managing their own finance?
– If even their own bank says their balance is outstanding.

What do you call an accountant who says he’s posted a one-sided journal?
– A liar!! Under Sarbox rules it just can’t happen! Can it??!!

An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.

What do accountants say when they are leaving?
– Calc-u-later.

Where do accountants want to go when they die?
– To haven.

What does an accountant say when boarding a train?
– ‘Mind the GAAP’.

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