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Accounting puns in 2025

What did the accounting CPA get up to as a child?
– He used to account ants of course.

I was so surprised when an accountant came to my soirée and didn’t have much to say.
– I had heard they are the LIFO soul of the party.

Atheist organisations don’t have to pay tax as they are not-for-prophet organisations.

What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
– Lazy.

What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?
– Popular

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
– Depreciation.

Why did the accountant start mumbling numbers under her breath?
– Because she was on a percent into madness.

There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business
– : 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]

Why don’t old accountants die?
– They just lose their balance!

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
– “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
– “Have you tried counting sheep?”
– “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

Why do accountant sheepdogs bring back more sheep than the farmer started with?
– Because they are asked to round them up.

Why does an accountant enjoy the weekend so much?
– Because they can wear their own clothes to work.

Be audit you can be.

There are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.

Working capital does not.

Accountants can be quite hard to read.
– I find it very difficult to judge their accrual intentions.

How did the accountant die?
– He lost his balance.

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
– They find bookkeeping too exciting.

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