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Accounting puns in 2025

What did the accounting CPA get up to as a child?
– He used to account ants of course.

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
– They have strong internal controls.

What’s an accountant’s favourite book?
– 50 Shades of Grey.

The question is do I tell my partner’

What did the accountant say when he got a blank check?
– My deductions have at last caught up with the salary.

Why did the accountant get fired for calculating the accounting tax wrong?
– Because his boss wanted to make an exsumple of him.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
– Depreciation.

Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
– They have strong internal controls.

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
– A late night.

How does Santa Claus’s tax accountant value his sleigh?
– Net Present Value.

Every good tax accountant is aiming to leave a legacy
: to have a loophole named after them.

What’s grey and not there?
– An accountant on vacation.

How does an accountant trash their hotel room?
– By refusing to fill in the Guest Comment Card.

Trial balances don’t.

Why didn’t the accountant respond when her husband tried to wake her up?
– Because she was out for the account.

What do you call an accountant with an opinion?
– An auditor.

What music is played at a financial accountant’s funeral?
– The Last Post.

Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.

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