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Money puns ๐Ÿ’ฐ in 2023

How can you get rich by eating?
– Eat fortune cookies.

I donโ€™t usually boast about my finances.

What do you call a financial scam in Egypt?
– A pyramid scheme!

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in?
– Somebodyโ€™s making a penny.

I need a new bank account.
– This one has run out of money.

Personal financing is veryโ€ฆINTERESTing

โ€œWell, Iโ€™m going to have to pay the bills on that huge house,
– so I suppose Iโ€™ll wish for a billion dollars.
– That ought to cover it for a while, at least.โ€

Who handles financial matters in a monastery?
– That’s nun of your business

โ€œDogs have no money. Isnโ€™t that amazing? Theyโ€™re broke their entire lives.
– But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? ..
– No Pockets.โ€

College is the opposite of kidnapping.
– They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.

I saw a sign that said โ€œWatch for children,โ€ and I said, โ€œThat sounds like a fair trade.โ€

Irresponsible financiers must be discredited.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America.
– If Iโ€™m not there, I go to work.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Uber lost over a billion dollars in the last six months so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

But my credit card company calls me everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding.

A hacker saw my financials
– He set up a go fund me

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