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Money puns ๐Ÿ’ฐ in 2022

What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?
– February 14th.

Money isnโ€™t everything, but it definitely keeps you in touch with your children.

What do you call it when a group of executives falls back during battle?
– A corporate retreat

Never lend money to a friend. Itโ€™s dangerous.
– It could damage his memory

The stock market is weird.
– Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

What type of money do crabs use?
– Sand dollars!

The man, taken aback, scratches his head for a moment and tells the genie,
– โ€œAlright, I wish for a 100-million dollar mansion.โ€

So, after reading a bunch of โ€œself-helpโ€ books, Iโ€™ve FINALLY found the secret to financial success!!
– I think Iโ€™m going to write a self-help book!

โ€œMoney was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.โ€

Is everything expensive or I’m just broke all the time?

Always borrow money from a pessimist.
– Theyโ€™ll never expect it back.

Which department do you call when ants go missing?
– Dept. of Finance.

MBA: A course that teaches you, how the world is financially screwing you over
– while financial screwing you over

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

Why do I keep paying the bills?
– It just encourages them to send more.

The boy that used to bully me at school is still taking my lunch money.
– On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

Why did the clean freak hate dealing with Cost of Goods Sold?
– Because it always made their profit โ€œgrossโ€

Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?
– Pyramid schemes.

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