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Chair puns ๐Ÿช‘ in 2023

Stevie Wonder walks into a bar…
– And a table, and a chair

I received a surprising reply when I asked my friend about his exercise routine.
He said he would simply pick up a large chair and put it down- this was his routine of seatups.

A blind guy walks into a bar…
…then a table, then a chair, then another chair…

A pretty lady in a restaurant just asked me if I was single and I happily replied yes
– She took the extra chair in front of me away

I have a carpenter friend who failed in his carpentry examination.
– I believe he is going to prepare and resit the test again.

What do you say when the police ask you to sit in the chair during an interogation and your lawyer advises you to deny everything?
You promptly reply, “This ain’t a chair!”

A priest asks the murderer at the electric chair….
-“Do you have any last requests?

-“Yes,can you please hold my hand?”

My dog has picked out her favorite chair in our living room.
– It’s a bark-a-lounger.

My grandfather’s rocking chair has survived through a lot of things: fire, floods, earthquakes and even a war.
I believe we should rename the chair as Chair Grylls.

Why did my grandfather add wheels to his rocking chair?
– Because he wanted to rock n’ roll.

I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday…
– But my wife wouldn’t let me plug it in.

I usually sit on a computer 12 hours a day nowโ€ฆ I think its bad for my health
– I should sit on a chair.

My father recently bought home a reclining chair from the furniture shop.
Neither my mother nor I liked it but my father wasn’t too concerned about it- he would just take it back.

A trip to the dentist
– A woman walks into a dentist’s office, sits down in the chair, pulls down her pants and spreads her legs.
The dentist says to her, “I think you’ve got the wrong place.
The gynecologist’s office is upstairs.” The woman says back, “No mistake.
You put my husband’s dentures in, and now you’re gonna get them out.”

Grandpa: what has 4 legs but isn’t alive?
Little Timmy: haha it’s a chair nice try gra-
Grandpa:it’s your dog Timmy he’s dead

I was looking for a job and ended up at the Employment centre.
– Being a carpenter, I asked if there were any furniture-related jobs, They asked me to take a seat.

What genre of music does an electric chair usually like listening to?
– It listens to death metal.

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?

“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

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