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Chair puns in 2024

Stevie Wonder walks into a bar…
– And a table, and a chair

All the chairs were trapped inside one room by their enemies.
They were slow dying inside the room
– because the chair supply had been cut off.

Why can comedians never sit back on a chair while telling jokes to people?
– Because they do stand-up comedy!

My dad asked me: “Son, what has four legs and doesn’t breathe?”
I said “You’re not fooling me again dad, a chair”
He answered “No, your dog died”

A murderer is to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request.
– The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

When the King Chair resigned from his role, there was a lot of rumors about who would take the throne as there were no chair apparent.

A dyslexic put a dinner roll on a chair before he sat down…
– It was a pad bun.

Hellen Keller walks in a bar
– And a wall, a chair and 3 people

The chair which could also act as a refrigerator was flagged by the Pollution Control Board.
– This was because it was supposedly releasing chairosol into the air.

What do you call a sitcom show on TV which has a chair in its lead role?
– You call it ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Chair’.

I went to the dentist.
I sat down in the chair and he said, “Open up for me…”

“OK,” I said, “my parents don’t love me very much.”

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to turn on an electric chair?
– Ten. But number four will shock you

When my lover and I decided to get married, she stood by me at all times through every hardship.
She didn’t really have a choice
– because we could only afford one chair.

Why did the family put a chair beside the casket of their dead grandmother?
– They were waiting for rigor mortis to seat in.

When I was first married we were very poor, but my wife stood by me
– She had to – we only had one chair

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar
– They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

I received a surprising reply when I asked my friend about his exercise routine.
He said he would simply pick up a large chair and put it down- this was his routine of seatups.

A blind guy walks into a bar…
…then a table, then a chair, then another chair…

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