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Doctor puns in 2024

Where does an owl get medical treatment from?
– Dr Who.

The new doctor is such a happy person, have you met Doctor Phil Goode?

Dr.’s are saying not to worry about the bird flu
– because it’s tweetable.

What do you call a medical fish?
– Sturgeon general

The doctors found a diseased blood type: U.

I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery,
– but she changed my mind.

How do doctors help rockets?
– They give the rockets their booster shots.

When someone asks me if I’m seeing anyone,
– I automatically assume they’re talking about a psychiatrist

I left the hospital against medical advice…
– AMA

Who are the only people who don’t like doctor puns?
– People with an irony deficiency.

Medical students hate the test on kidney stones,
– it’s the hardest test to pass.

What did one shin say to another on valentines day?
– I want tibia with you.

My doctor told me you ‘ll be alive only for 24 hours!
– When I wanted to leave him he told me: “Excuse me I had forgotten to tell you that yesterday.”

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion.

Why did the mattress go to the doctors?
– It had a spring fever.

A patient said to the doctor, “I keep dreaming my eyes change colour”.
– The doctor says “It’s just a pigment of your imagination”.

Doc says, “Joe, I got some bad news for you. You’ve got six months to live.”
– Joe says, “Six months? Doc, I can’t pay your bill in six months, I can’t do it!”
– Doc says, “OK, I give you a year…”

What is a cannibal’s favourite medical drama?
– Graze Anatomy.

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