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Accounting puns 📒 in 2023

What did the accounting CPA get up to as a child?
– He used to account ants of course.

Why did the jam business fail?
– Because the finances were spread too thin.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
– It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……

Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
– Because on the box it said Concentrate.

Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do accountants love to receive as gifts?
– Asset of glasses.

Why doesn’t Santa have his own accountant?
– Because he is elf employed.

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
– Invite an accountant.

What’s grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
– An accountant riding an elephant.

Return on investments never will.

What does a CPA say when someone suggests they buy assets in a failing business?
– Account me out.

Why should you never audit your accounts while standing on an anthill?
– Because you may finance in your pants.

Did you hear about the cannibal CPA?
– She charges an arm and a leg.

What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
– Go into town and gang-audit someone.

There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business
: 1)Don’t tell them everything you know. 2) [Redacted]

When an accountant is under pressure they ask their boss to cut them sum slack.

The reason I stopped making puns is the same reason one of my clients stopped putting money into their savings account: lack of interest.

Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks?
– Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.

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