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Purple puns 🟣 in 2022

Have you heard about the two ships which collided in the middle of the ocean?
– One was carrying brown paint, the other was carrying purple. The survivors were marooned.

Have you heard of that purple guy who wanted to take over the world?
– They called him Alexander The Grape.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– BREATHE! JUST BREATHE!

Roses are red, at least that is true. Violets are purple – they’re just not blue!

My friend and I were in a quiz and a question came up about the color purple. I tried to give my friend a tint, but they just didn’t get it.

Son: What rhymes with purple?
Dad: No it doesn’t

If you visit a website and the Terms and Conditions are in purple, click away from the page immediately. These violet your privacy.

My colorblind friend was pretty down one day. He told me he was feeling really purple.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
– Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

Where do you buy Purple things?
– From the La-vendor.

I was stuck behind a purple family in a queue. Eventually I just had to ask them to mauve.

My least favourite colour is purple
I hate it more than blue and red combined

Roses are red, that much is true, violets are purple…
– Not fucking blue!

Have you heard of the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles who were all shades of lilac?
– Their catch phrase is “Purple power!”

There’s a been a weather warning! Purple rain is about to start falling! You’d better run before the violet storms start!

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple stream?
– It makes a splash

What did the green grape say to the purple grape ??
– BREATHE !!!!
Edit: spelling

I saw a purple fawn the other day. I named it laven-deer.

The CSI team was called to the Purple Rain shoot,
– because they had to dust for Prince.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATH!!
Edit: breathe..dammit

I made pancakes, but now the whole house smells like lavender. I must have used the wrong flower…

My favorite shirt changed from blue to purple after I washed it. I guess it revealed its true colors.

Son: What rhymes with purple
Dad: No it doesn’t

What’s purple and is sitting in the corner of the room?
– A naughty plum.

My partner told me a joke about the color purple. I replied “I can really see what hue did there.”

My house was painted a bright purple, so I changed it to brown, then purple again…
– I went back to the fuchsia

I’m color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple…
…but it was just a pigment of my imagination.

My grandfather told me he had got the Purple Heart. Alarmed, I told him to visit the doctor right away.

My friend has synaesthesia. I made the mistake of asking him the time; he replied, “Half past purple.”

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