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Tree puns in 2025

You want to hear a joke about trees?
– Nah, it’s too sappy

How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?
-They spruce themselves up.

I cut down a Christmas tree today. My wife asked me if I was going to put it up myself.
-I said: “Of course not. I was going to put it up in the living room.”

What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
-ScoliOAKsis.

What is a tree’s least favorite month?
-Sep-timber!

All good things come to Tree who waits

Why couldn’t the evergreen ever land a date?
-It was so busy pining after unavailable trees that it never really branched out. Sorry if my puns are a bit mains-tree-m

What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies?
-Spruce Willis

Though this Tree madness, yet there is method in it

Which Canadian city is a tree’s favorite?
– Montreeal!

A wilderness retreet

What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can’t figure it out.
-I’m stumped.

Why do trees hate riddles?
-Because it’s too easy to get stumped!

What is a tree’s favorite school subject?
-Geometry.

Tree will give tTree Devil his due

What did the tree do when the bank closed? Read more:
-It started its own branch.

Sorry if my puns are a bit mains-tree-m

A bank is considering putting an ATM in a tree and if it works will be expanded to other branches.

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