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Axe puns in 2024

You should be very careful what you axe for this Christmas because you might just get it!

I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
– It wasn’t very cleaver.

The lumberjack’s axe broke
– He’s really stumped now.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth…
and now I talk with a strange Axe scent.

Do you know why three-dimensional items or tools are so good at chopping or cutting down trees? It is simply because they all have 3 axes.

Yesterday, I threw an axe at the car of my father and left a large dent in the door. Fortunately, he was not angry and said that “Do not worry son, it was just an axe – dent!”

Can I axe you a question?

Did you hear about the lumberjack who uses reddit?
– The other day I heard he had an axe me anything.

I was disappointed when it turned out the axe I bought to climb with was useless for the job…
– it was an anti-climb axe

The new ruler of our kingdom is brutal and savage: He wants to exe-terminate the old forest with his axe.

If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.
– easier to get a head

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today.
– Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

What’s a similarity between your best friend and a tree? They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.

Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework.
– He comes upon a question: “What separates the head from the body?”

– Ahmed answers: “The axe”

If you want to axe me about my knife – life, do not bother because I just get only hammered.

I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln
– I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.

I got struck by a golden axe
– Au!

What did one deodorant say to the other?
I can’t understand you, your axe scent is too strong.

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