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Axe puns in 2024

It is a new axe for women!

Why did Johnny Appleseed carry an axe?
– To have better axe-ess to apples.

– As told by my 8 year old.

In avengers endgame when Thor cuts off thanos’ head with an axe some blood hits nebula.
– I guess you could she’s covered in axe body spray.

i remeber my grandma last words what are you doing with that axe

My best friend is arrested by the police because he says that he used to be an axe murder. However, it turns out that he is just a terrible guitarist.

George Washington admitting chopping down the cherry tree of his father. But why didn’t his father punish him? Because he still grabbed the axe in his hand.

How can you tell a lumberjack is from another part of the world? They have a noticeable axe-ccent

Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
– Little Johnny replies, “Because George was the one holding the axe?

What’s the difference between a Scotsman and a high school jock?
– One has a strong accent, and the other has a strong Axe scent.

Do you know why the man failed as a standup comedian, but later became a prolific axe murderer? Because he was a total hack.

What did the lumberjack say to the talking tree as he swung his axe?
– You will dialogue

How can you tell that an axe thrower loves his assistant?
– He misses her!

A lumberjack lost his arm cutting wood.
– It was an axe-ident.

Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies
– It never does what it claims to do but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway.

I get terrified when my teacher says that “If you have any questions, feel free to axe me when the lecture is over.”

Hey teacher, what would you do if someone came up to you with a huge axe?
– I’d answer their important question

I saw a guy today with soot all over his face carrying a large pick axe and wearing a royal blue hardhat that matched his overalls.
– But these are just miner details.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today…
Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

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