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Terrible puns in 2024

Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?

What do you call a happy cowboy?
-A jolly rancher.

 I saw an ad that said “television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full” and I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
-He neverlands.

If a kid won’t take a nap, is that “resisting a rest”?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

Doctor, doctor, help! I think I’m shrinking! Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks.
-Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.

Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

To the guy who invented Zero,thanks for nothing!

I once met a pig that did karate.
– We called him Pork Chop.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
-He was outstanding in his field.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
– Because they have big fingers.

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman?

The Warthog decided to hire other warthogs to occupy the shadiest groves, and then charged animals $5 to lay in the shade

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
-Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

A Steak Pun is a Rare Medium Well Done

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