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Terrible puns in 2025

Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?

What do you call a happy cowboy?
-A jolly rancher.

 I saw an ad that said “television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full” and I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
-He neverlands.

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

Doctor, doctor, help! I think I’m shrinking! Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks.
-Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.

Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

If a kid won’t take a nap, is that “resisting a rest”?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
-Dam.

“I’m no cheetah”. “You’re lion!”

I just burned a Hawaiian pizza I was making.
-Should have cooked it at aloha temperature!

Have you ever tried to write your own puns?
-It’s a fairly difficult pun-dertaking.

What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom?
-Odor in the court.

I got a job at a bakery, because I knead dough.

I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.

What do you call a ghost’s true love?
-His ghoul-friend.

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
-A firequacker.

If you’re considering working in a prison library, you’ll need to consider both the prose and the cons.

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