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Terrible puns in 2022

What do you call a happy cowboy?
-A jolly rancher.

Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
-He neverlands.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.

Doctor, doctor, help! I think I’m shrinking! Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks.
-Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.

Don’t ever believe an atom, they make up everything.

 I saw an ad that said “television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full” and I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

The Lion started a personal protection racket, offering gazelles protection from the lions in exchange for a fee of $10.

A dragon walks into a bar.
-“It’s hot in here” he says. “Shut your mouth” says the waiter.

Bobby broke his finger today, but on the other hand he was completely fine.

When I was young, I wanted to be a dolphin, but as I got older, my sense of porpoise faded away.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
– Because it’s pee is silent.

My friend made a joke about the TV controller.
-It wasn’t remotely funny.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Why did the giraffe get bad grades?
-Because he had his head in the clouds.

How can you tell if the ocean is friendly?
– It waves.

The Elephant built an elaborate harness for his back, and charged other animals $15 for elephant rides.

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