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Baby puns ๐Ÿ‘ถ in 2022

Do you know why babies born on holidays are more than likely to be little girls?
– Because there is no mail delivery on holidays.

When Olaf the snowman had a baby,
– he put a snowmobile on his baby’s crib.

A friend just told me that my daughter and my wife look like twins.
– I said, โ€œWell, they were separated at birth!โ€

Do you know how Stonehenge came to be?
– By Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.

I would make a joke about newbornsโ€ฆ
– But the delivery would be too painful.

Mom: โ€œWhy is there a strange baby in the crib?โ€
– Dad: โ€œYou told me to change the baby.โ€

For expecting mothers, having a baby is worth the weight.

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didnโ€™t have teddy bears. You know why?
– He had real bears.

Baby Yodaโ€™s first word probably came after his second word.

Did you know that you can get a wooden car seat?
– It comes with a sign that says โ€œBaby on Board!โ€

Storks don’t deliver babies with their diapers on. They come stork naked.

A group of baby garbage bins is called a litter.

Did you hear about the baby turkeys that were all upset?
– They were crying fowl.

What did the buffalo say to his baby boy when paternity leave was over?
– โ€œBison!โ€

How many infants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– One. He just points at it and cries until his caregiver does it for him.

Little Johnnyโ€™s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
– He asked his mom, โ€œWhereโ€™d we get him?โ€
– His mother replied, โ€œHe came from heaven, Johnny.โ€
– Johnny exclaimed, โ€œWowโ€ฆ I can see why they threw him out!โ€

Where do baby fish sleep?
– In a bass-inet.

My baby accidentally ate a lot of scrabble tiles. The next diaper change will spell disaster.

Willy: โ€œMom, are our neighbors poor people?โ€
– Mother: โ€œI donโ€™t think so, Willy. Why do you ask?โ€
– Willy: โ€œBecause they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.โ€

Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on?
– No, theyโ€™re stork naked!

A group of baby soldiers is called an infantry.

What do you call a newborn baby?
– Anything you want.

How warm is a baby at birth?
– Womb temperature.

Why is that baby still in diapers?
– Iโ€™ll give you two reasons: number 1 and number 2.

Did you hear about the collie pup who liked to give kisses?
– She was col-licky!

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
– An infantry.

Do you remember what you used to call your security blanket when you were little?
– No, Iโ€™m drawing a blankie!

Parents usually change their baby’s diapers during the wee wee hours.

I told my friends a joke about birth complications, but no one laughed.
– It must have come out wrong.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
– What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
– โ€œItโ€™s pasture bed time.โ€

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