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Construction puns in 2024

A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.
The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:

Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.

The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.

Host Alright…. I guess you have a belt….You still need a jacket.

The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.

Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.

The man goes out to his car. He doesn’t have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.

Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.

Just don’t try to start something….

My boss just asked me to attach two wood pieces and I completely nailed it.

A construction worker and a cheating wife were having an affair. They bonded through conversations about the things they had most in common. They were both home wreckers.

Wanna hear a joke about construction?
– Wait, I’m still working on it.

I finally managed to do some carpentry today and I’m so proud of myshelf.

I knew this plumber who was trying to become an artist on the side. Sadly he just couldn’t find the faucet for his creativity.

A construction worker falls madly in love with a beautiful woman. At first he isn’t sure how to talk to her. One day he decides to use his job skills to win her over. All he has to do is build up his confidence, hammer home his feelings, and try not to screw it up. He just might nail it.

Wanna hear a construction joke?
– I’m still working on it…

Construction Dadjoke: Our Sewage Treatment Plant supplier is missing
In his last email he said “I remain at your disposal for any concerns”.
Couldn’t find him there this morning. I hope he’s ok.

Want to hear a joke about construction?
– I’m still working on it!

Funny, that J-Lo – she insists that her houses be insulated with ass-best-os!

Our company assigned me the task of building a barn for Christmas. I am not sure if I can. I have to check my shed-yule.

My father said that he was very excited to be a plumber at one point in his life,
– but later he found the job to be draining.

I didn’t expect much from the movie about construction workers, but it was actually quite riveting.

Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it…

The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there…
…yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.

Did you hear about the construction workers that got sick?
– They’re dealing with it asbestos they can

My manager asked me for a blueprint so I stuck my hand in blue ink and pressed my palm on his desk.

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