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Squirrel puns in 2024

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
– To keep their nuts dry.

What did the squirrel say to the psychologist?
– I think I’m nuts.

I was thrown out of the local park for arranging the squirrels by height…
– Apparently they just can’t take a little critter-sizing!

Why don’t squirrels swim in cold water?
– The nuts shrink.

How do squirrels remember where their nuts are buried? They use acorn-yms

What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
– watch NutFlix

If I could talk to squirrels…
– I bet I’d have a pretty nutty conversation.

My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it. Nature abhors a vacuum.

Why did the squirrel blush when she had been hit by a car?
– Because she felt flattered.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.
– Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

What happens when more than one squirrel acts like a nut?
– There ends up being a squarrel.

Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
– Because their nuts won’t fit

I’d make fun of what squirrels eat
– But it’d be acorn-y joke.

What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
– A female squirrel.

How do you catch a squirrel who’s interested in ornithology?
– Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.

If a squirrel and a raccoon were playing scrabble, who would win?
– The squirrel, because it has a ‘Q’.

What does a dog say when it chases a squirrel up to the tree?
– Bark!

What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
– I’m gonna go out on a limb here.

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