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Train puns ๐Ÿš… in 2023

When our journey was cancelled, all our plans went down the train.

When he’s stressed, the train driver always bites his rails.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
– On my desk I have a work station…

No one drinks faster than a train driver: he keeps chugging!

Even the toughest train engineer needs a brake to let off some steam.

I wanted to put together this list of funny train puns a while ago, but I just kept getting side tracked.

A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.

Why are trains the best form of transportation?
– Because they have a proven track record

An express train is just a press train that has lost its job.

Be careful with train drivers, they can go off the rails at anytime!

I swear train conductors never get in trouble. They always seem to have a get out of rail free card.

I once asked a conductor how many times a train he was on had gotten derailed. He told me it was hard to keep track.

What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?
– Investigators aren’t sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.

Train drivers are really scary when they get angry; you’ve got to be careful not to yank their train.

What do you call a locomotive that keeps sneezing?
– Achoo choo train.

I finally figured out why you always try to drive me crazy. You have a locomotive.

Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.

I hate train puns.
– They eventually run off the rails.

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