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Hand puns ✋ in 2021

I was so great with political science that I knew it on the back of my hand. But now it is difficult to know my left from my right.

Rash on my hands from washing them too much. Don’t want to brag but in the current climate that’s basically a Victoria Cross

I called my boss to say that I couldn’t get into our office’s security system al-arm when I was locking up the office last night. She sounded unal-armed.

Why did the guy wear two watches on his wrist, one on each hand? Because he wanted to have a lot of time on his hands.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers
And says “Give me five beers”.

What did the cop say to a hand? You are under a-wrist.

I don’t like it when my friend has a hand sanitizer and I don’t. He’s always rubbing it in.

Everyone always tells me that I have my right to bear arms. But I never want to fight any bear for its arms.

Did you hear about a poker player that lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement? He’s been finding it hard to deal.

I cut my finger chopping cheese
but I think that I may have grater problems.

Why is dry beef’s handwriting very bad? Because it’s very jerky.

“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”

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