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Hand puns in 2024

What would a Pope use to dry his hands? A papal towel.

I think a palm tree is just a tree made out of hands.

I’ve decided to get the numbers 1 through 20 tattooed all up my one arm. That way, people will always be able to count on me.

How many bones are there in the human arm? One arm-full.

My daughter broke her finger today,
but on the other hand she was completely fine.

A friend of mine met with a bike accident and broke his left hand. Oh, don’t worry he’s all right now!

“I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.”

My friend broke his arm recently. When I went to see him, I saw that he was eating a giant bowl of herbs. When I asked why he was eating that, he just said, “you know, because thyme heals all wounds.”

Do you know the Spanish word for ‘the bow’? El-bow.

I just broke my finger…
But on the other hand, I’m okay.

My mom was angry with my brother and she slapped him with a handful of coins on his face. I am sure this time she slapped some cents into him.

When I asked why he said “don’t you know the rules for screwing? Righty tighty lefty loosey”

A person with no arms and a knife in his mouth can still technically be called armed, just only to the teeth.

What do arms do when you get sad? They give you a shoulder to cry on.

What would you call a vocalist singing with a hand shower? A Faucetto.

I went to my doctor and told him that I broke my arm in two places. He advised me to stop going to those places.

I recently found out that my sister got a tattoo of diamonds, spades, clubs, and hearts on her arm. I guess I’ll have to deal with her later.

What would you call a toddler running towards her mother with her arms high up in the air? A pick-me-up.

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