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Foot puns in 2024

Does your shoe have a hole in it?
– The answer from your audience will hopefully be no, to which you can reply “Well how did you put your foot in it then?”

Why did the two podiatrists hate each other?
– Because they were arch enemies!

I was going to propose to my partner on the top of the ski hill,
– but I didn’t in the end because I got cold feet.

How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
– He always finds the biggest footholds.

That runner is seriously impressive,
– he just accomplished a great feet.

What do princes wear on their feet?
– Heir Jordans

What is a foot’s favourite candy?
– Men-toes.

I was driving behind an ambulance one day when a cooler fell off the back of it.
– I stopped, picked it up and opened it and found a foot inside. Naturally, I called a toe-truck.

My podiatrist is eager to change his career,
– I think she is getting itchy feet.

What did one new sock say to the other?
– “Great things are afoot!”

Why did Soviet miners work with their feet?
– Because in Soviet Russia, the bomb disarms you!

What do you call the condition when your toes smell really badly?
– Hali-toe-sis!

Did you know alligators can grow up to 22 feet?
– Most of the time, they just grow four though.

Mommy mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
– Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

What do you call it when you put two slices of bread around your foot?
– A below-knee sandwich.

I used to really hate my foot fungus,
– but now it’s actually starting to grow on me.

What is a podiatrist’s favourite Olympic event?
– Arch-ery!

The runner was getting a little anxious about swimming his first laps,
– he was just getting his feet wet.

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