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Foot puns in 2024

Does your shoe have a hole in it?
– The answer from your audience will hopefully be no, to which you can reply “Well how did you put your foot in it then?”

Why did the two podiatrists hate each other?
– Because they were arch enemies!

How is 3+3=7 the same as your left foot?
– It’s not right!

I was trying shoes on but one pair was a size too small,
– so my feet got toe-tally stuck!

How does Mary Poppins cure smelly feet?
– She tells you to step in thyme!

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle.
– A meter stick

What did the man with two left feet wear?
– Flip flips.

What is the foot’s favorite type of chips?
– Dori-toes!

I took a video of my new pair of shoes yesterday.
– I have just watched it back, and it really made for some excellent footage.

I broke my foot and went in for a routine surgery,
– but I left the hospital with two fewer limbs: it cost an arm and a leg!

Why do polar bears never get married?
– Because they always get cold feet.

My brother said he can’t date someone without feet.
– I guess he is lack-toes-intolerant

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
– A slipper!

Always stay off lawns which have recently been fertilized,
– because you don’t want to let grass grow under your feet.

Why do podiatrists never have any friends?
– Because when they meet someone, they always get off on the wrong foot.

Why did the pair of socks decide to break up?
– Because one of them always had to be right, and the other one left.

What would have Bigfoot been called by Native Americans if he had a big nose instead of big feet?
– Schnozzsquatch

How hard was it for the shoe maker to manufacture clown shoes?
– It was no small feet!

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