The debate about whether vampires are real or not is decades old, perhaps even centuries. It is well punctuated with fables and age old tales, and from all these stories and tales have developed many vampire puns for all occasions. Mostly found around Halloween and popular with those who are interested in the darker sides of society, there are old vampire puns as well as new.
Once I invited 10 vampires over for a dinner party. I made the fatal mistake and put garlic in the dressing. People are calling it Buffet The Vampire Slayer.
Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?
– Because they were raised by a neck romancer.
I met a vampire who is a MASSIVE sociopath
– He has absolutely no capability of self-reflection.
Maybe I should add my name at the local vampire association since they are looking for new blood.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place – Forever 21.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don’t see it coming, and then they dawn on them.
Why did the vampire get nervous during the poker game?
– His opponent had just raised the stakes.
Went to a Halloween fancy dress party dressed as Dracula and ate all the food. I was Vampire the Buffet Slayer.
What is a vampire that acts flat out ridiculous called? A silly sucker.
It totally sucks to be me.
Everyone knows that he’s the king of the vampires, and that’s why these funny puns are some of the best around.
The other night I tried to kill a vampire with a really big pointy stick, but my aim was terrible.
– It was a giant missed stake.
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To keep from coffin.
Vampires hate peaches, but they love neck-tarines.
Robert Pattinson is an awful vampire
– It took him 11 years to figure out how to turn into a bat
Why didnt the vampire attack taylor swift?
– cuz she got bad blood
What is the way that vampires can cross by sea? They take blood vessels.
Vampires tend to drink Blood Light, but only from a longneck bottle.
Vampires are Pale from Lack of Sun
Vampire tales widely accept that they are unable to be in the sun, that it will burn them. This leads to all vampires being of pale skin and white or almost white. A top vampire pun compares the skin tone of someone who is fair or pale and the vampires that only come out at night. These short vampire puns are easily included in conversations over the summer and especially as tans begin to appear. Often people with the lightest skin are the most prone to sunburns, going right form quite pale skin to red sunburns. Cheesy vampire puns about sunburns are no less popular than those about their skin tone.
Other characteristics of vampires that are also made into short vampire puns include their rumored dislike of garlic, and whether or not they sleep in caskets. These are all ways to share facts about them that may or may not be true, but can help to make them seem more approachable and less scary for children and even adults. There are many characteristics that have been assigned to vampires in varying tales, stories, and shows, and each of them is the base for many vampire puns.
Halloween Vampire Puns
Around Halloween all things that are scary, mythical, and magical become the focus for a few weeks. Included are the funny vampire puns that are meant for the adults as well as vampire puns for kids. There are many short vampire puns that can be heard throughout the fall months and even more in month around Halloween. With both scary vampires stories and funny vampire puns based upon more family friendly or kid approved vampire tales.
Vampire Puns for Kids
As kids prepare for Halloween the excitement grows for the decorations, costumes, candies, and parties. The silly vampire puns and the hilarious vampire puns based on shows for kids and the cartoon movies of vampires are created to help keep the fear down for children and ease their anxiety or worry for the night. Where kids are scared of all things Halloween, or just vampires themselves, the funniest vampire puns are one way to make them appear more approachable and ease the fear allowing for the time to be enjoyed.
Clean vampire puns can be suitable for any event and posted on bulletin boards around classrooms, shared in newsletters or homework, and cute vampire puns are found on the Valentines Day cards, even on television shows and movies. Often the best vampire puns are found in the most unexpected places, such as commercials for new products or in new cartoons.
Most vampire puns are for fun, with few of them having alternative reasons. There are a few that are good for helping children to face their fears, to advertise cereals or clothing items that are created based upon a vampire character. When used for advertising they can bring attention to the product and form a catch phrase or funny connections to keep people talking about the product later. They can create a positive connection between the pun and the product, making it seem approachable and increasing brand recognition and purchasing patterns.
Puns can be used for much more than just a laugh and are one of the tools in communication that can create a feeling of ease while lowering the anxiety and fear around some topics. Well embedded within the way that society communicates, puns are found in everyday conversation. They are helpful for stress relieving and can reduce tension in the work place, in schools or at home when children are frightened of something, easing the tension before a doctor’s appointment or dental appointment and making Halloween less scary.