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Vampire puns in 2024

If you want to kill a French vampire, you will need to stab him with a baguette. It’s pretty painstaking if you ask me.

Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.

This movie about killing dwarf vampires has no tension
– The stakes are too low

Q: How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?
A: Every night he turns into a bat.

On reflection, vampires aren’t actually that scary.

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself…
– my wife rushes through the room and shouts, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK”

Why don’t vampires suck on chinese blood?
– Because it tastes wong.

Being a vampire completely sucks.

Vampires tend to stay away from Taylor Swift. I’ve been told it’s because she has bad blood.

You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can’t handle the stakes.

What do you get when you mix a snowman with a vampire?
– frostbite!

I knew a vampire who gave up acting because he couldn’t find a role he could get his teeth in to.

What song does a vampire strongly dislike? Another One Bites The Dust.

One thing you won’t catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.

I killed the last of the vampires last Halloween. When he was gone, I started to sing, “it’s the final count down.”

What do you call a vampire who’s car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank?
– A cab

Q: Why did the vampire’s head pop?
A: He bit someone with high blood pressure

Once I invited 10 vampires over for a dinner party. I made the fatal mistake and put garlic in the dressing. People are calling it Buffet The Vampire Slayer.

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