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Vampire puns ๐Ÿง› in 2022

Once I invited 10 vampires over for a dinner party. I made the fatal mistake and put garlic in the dressing. People are calling it Buffet The Vampire Slayer.

Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?
– Because they were raised by a neck romancer.

I met a vampire who is a MASSIVE sociopath
– He has absolutely no capability of self-reflection.

Maybe I should add my name at the local vampire association since they are looking for new blood.

College-age vampires only ever shop in one place – Forever 21.

An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don’t see it coming, and then they dawn on them.

Why did the vampire get nervous during the poker game?
– His opponent had just raised the stakes.

Went to a Halloween fancy dress party dressed as Dracula and ate all the food. I was Vampire the Buffet Slayer.

What is a vampire that acts flat out ridiculous called? A silly sucker.

It totally sucks to be me.

Everyone knows that he’s the king of the vampires, and that’s why these funny puns are some of the best around.

The other night I tried to kill a vampire with a really big pointy stick, but my aim was terrible.
– It was a giant missed stake.

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To keep from coffin.

Vampires hate peaches, but they love neck-tarines.

Robert Pattinson is an awful vampire
– It took him 11 years to figure out how to turn into a bat

Why didnt the vampire attack taylor swift?
– cuz she got bad blood

What is the way that vampires can cross by sea? They take blood vessels.

Vampires tend to drink Blood Light, but only from a longneck bottle.

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