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Lawyer puns in 2024

Hey boy, did you see the season finale of Suits?
– Well, I know a nice file room where we can reenact it.

Unlike a court, I would definitely order a specific performance of a contract for service. Especially if it were oral.

A legal action was taken by an airline company for misleading his luggage. Unfortunately, he didn’t gain a victory in his case.

You are crushing my heart, the way the rule against perpetuities crushes a contingent remainder.

A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king…
– He was Diss-Bard.

Would you like to see my power of attorney?

Why did the elephant lawyer lose his case?
– Because his argument was irrele-phant.

Why were lawyers invented by God?
– So that actual estate representatives would have an individual to look down on.

My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer
He could never pass the bar

My lawyer went to a rock concert last night and injured his eardrum. He called me this morning to tell me that he couldn’t attend today’s hearing.

I hope you don’t object to this leading question, boy, but you want me, don’t you?

What is the similarity between an apple and a lawyer?
– They both are not bad hanging from a tree.

You shouldn’t take a lawyer’s advice over emails
Because that would be
– E-legal.

Children are not allowed into the bar examination
– because they’re under-age.

The golden retriever didn’t make any money at his first law firm. He only worked on pro-bone-o cases.

What would you name a priest if he becomes an advocate?
– Father in law.

Hey boy, I don’t need your call number. I know I can find you in the Fine section.

My wife’s parents ran away from the cops after having a hefty argument. They’re now my out-laws.

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