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Knife puns ๐Ÿ”ช in 2023

For Sale: Replica Fisherman’s Knife
– Not made to scale

What’s the difference between a man with multiple stab wounds and a knife juggler?
– Practice.

What was told by the knife to the other one?
– Knife to see you.

I found out a flourishing knife company.-Key to success happens to be the most recent cutting-edge technology used by us.

I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging few years ago.-
– Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

Found a fork in the road the other day. It was outside my local chip shopโ€ฆ

Used a dad joke on my dad
– He was sharpening a pencil with his pocket knife but kept cutting the end off. “Dad if you keep this up its just going to be pointless.”

What is a knife without any purpose called?
– Pointless.

What happened when the knife went for a drive?
– It took a sharp turn

I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD
– It cuts like a knife

What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?- A pairing knife

Did you hear about the argument between a pencil and a sharpener?
– The sharpener made a better point.

Although I went knife shopping yesterday, I came back empty-handed. Not anyone of them was able to make the cut.

โ€œDo you really have to lick the knife?โ€ she growled angrily. โ€œSorry, force of habit.โ€ I chuckled. โ€œLots of people do it though, donโ€™t they?โ€
– โ€œYes, but not during surgery, doctor.โ€

Today I donated all my money and my phone to a poor fella like me
– You wouldn’t believe my happiness when he put the knife back in his pocket.

What did people say after two satellite dishes got married?
-The wedding was dull, but the reception was great.

For what reason did John throw the alarm clock out of his window?

In case you shred cheese using a knife he does not become any greater.

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