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Knife puns ๐Ÿ”ช in 2023

For Sale: Replica Fisherman’s Knife
– Not made to scale

What’s the difference between a man with multiple stab wounds and a knife juggler?
– Practice.

Although I went knife shopping yesterday, I came back empty-handed. Not anyone of them was able to make the cut.

โ€œDo you really have to lick the knife?โ€ she growled angrily. โ€œSorry, force of habit.โ€ I chuckled. โ€œLots of people do it though, donโ€™t they?โ€
– โ€œYes, but not during surgery, doctor.โ€

Today I donated all my money and my phone to a poor fella like me
– You wouldn’t believe my happiness when he put the knife back in his pocket.

What did people say after two satellite dishes got married?
-The wedding was dull, but the reception was great.

For what reason did John throw the alarm clock out of his window?

In case you shred cheese using a knife he does not become any greater.

broke my knife in to pieces-
– I’ll have to use a fork

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?-
Yell, “My money’s on the guy with the knife!”

I was sharpening my hatchet…
– …and my wife asked, “hows your knife sharpening going?”
– “I think I made my point,” I replied.

For what reason do individuals flee from you in case you possess a knife but charger to in case you possess a gun?
– Because you need to pay an additional charge for possessing guns.

When I see coupleโ€™s names carved into a tree, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s sweet.
– I think itโ€™s strange how many people take a knife on a date.

What do you do when you’re in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
– Go for the juggler.

Homeless man attacks kid with a knife -Donโ€™t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?
– Me. Ow.

I was forced to remove the oldest dagger from my collection of knives.

I made a clock. The big hand is a butcher’s knife, the small hand is a paring knife, and the clock face is a sharpening stone.
– There’s never a dull moment.

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