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Paper puns in 2024

Why isn’t there any more brown envelopes in the mail anymore?
– Because apparently, the white ones get through the system faster.

There was an unexpected wiggle on the graph paper.
– I think this is what you can call a plot twist.

The paper got tense
– because a student was about to solve some grammar quizzes on it.

A pirate wearing a paper towel on his head walks into a bar. The bartender asks “What’s with the paper towel?”
– The pirate says “Arrr matey, I have a bounty on me head!”

Why couldn’t the toilet paper win the race?
– Because it was wiped out.

What kind of paper do animals hate?
– Parchment paper.

I am trying to design some piece of paper.
I hope I get an A4 for my efforts.

I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint.
– Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.

Why is it more profitable to buy cardboard boxes online?
– You always get an extra one.

The electrician reads the newspaper all the time. I guess he just likes to stay current.

I got a paper cut while doing my Statistics homework
– but I can’t figure out the odds of getting that?

I ran out of toilet paper last week and can’t afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in……
……… The Times are really Rough!!!

What did a blind person say when he touched a sand paper?
– “Who wrote this nonsense?”

Once I failed to fly a paper plane I made.
I always thought I was good at making paper planes
– but sadly, the paper plane remained stationary.

A paper’s favorite kind of candy is tic tac toe.

Boating sounds like a terrible idea on paper
– But it’s a thousand times better on water.

What will happen when the world runs out of toilet paper?
– Depends.

What happened when the paper bomb blasted?
– Everyone crumbled.

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