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History puns 🏺 in 2023

Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
– Yeah, it cracked me up too!

The Roman Empire was cut in half by a pair of Caesars.

There are many marbleous statues in Greece, but many people take them for granite.

You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.

The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.

Which English king invented the fireplace?

– Alfred the Grate.

Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

– Liberty.

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
– The same middle name!

During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation

When a knight in armor was killed in battle, what sign did they put on this grave?

– Rust in peace.

The early ages in history are called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights.

England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.

If someone else had flown first, it just wouldn’t have been Wright.

When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately,
– they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, “Need Tudoring?”

Who invented fractions?
– Henry the 1/4th!

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?

– Because proper tea is theft.

I wouldn’t say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.

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