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Accounting puns in 2024

What do accountants do for fun?
– Add the telephone book!

Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant?
– The accountant is $1 million shy and hence is retiring.

Where do accountants like to eat their lunch?
– In the counteen.

Why are accountants so quick at reading novels?
– Because the only numbers in them are the page numbers at the bottom.

Why don’t accountants read novels?
– Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

How was copper wire invented?
– 2 accountants were arguing over a penny.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
– Net Present Value.

It’s not a coincidence that the four parts of the CPA exam spell out B-A-R-F.

Which superhero pays no income tax?
– Spiderman – his income is all net.

Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
– He couldn’t budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.

Why did the auditor get run over crossing the road?
– Auditors never actually do the risk assessment well until after the accident happens.

What is every accountant searching for ultimately?
– The meaning of LIFO.

Where there’s a will, there’s inheritance tax.

It’s 4:04.
– Do you know where your auditor is?

If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
– “Darling, could you tell me about your work.”

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant.
– Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?”
– The business owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”

If it’s raining really hard you can be sure to find your accountant hiding under the tax shelter.

You know you are an accountant when
… You can easily find the balance (even at Yoga classes)!

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