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Accounting puns in 2025

Why was the accountant in rehab?
– Solvency abuse.

Accounting for Dummies.
– What’s the big deal?
– Cr. Cash Dr. Dummies. Simple.

What is the slogan for being an accountant?
– Be audit you can be.

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
– “Doctor, I am struggling to sleep at night.”
– “Have you tried counting sheep?”, the doctor replies.
– “That’s the issue — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
– The accountant knows he’s boring.

‘Mr Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of £1,000 in cash.
– As he left I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.

Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do you call two accounting peers in the same firm?
– Countempories.

How does an accountant stay out of debt?
– He learns to act his wage.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
– Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

Accountants tend to mature very quickly
– because they know how to act their wage.

There are two key rules for building your successful accounting business
: 1) Don’t tell them everything you know 2) [Redacted]

How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?
– He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!

What’s grey on the inside and red on the outside?
– An accountant turned inside out.

Accountants don’t die, they get derecognized

What is an accountant’s favorite animal?
– Tax manian devil.

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

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