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Accounting puns in 2025

It’s accrual world.

An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy.
– The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following.

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
– A late night.

When an accountant is facing a huge issue they say they have a mammath problem on their plate.

Why do accountants need such big libraries?
– Because they have so many books to keep.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
– Lost.

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
– How much money do you have?

What did the overworked accountant say to the other accountant?
– I feel so under depreciated.

A man was told by a doctor that he only had six months to live.
– The doctor advised him to marry an accountant. “Why?” he asked, “Will it make me live longer?”
– The doctor replied: “No, but it will make those six months seem much longer.”

What is the definition of “accountant”?
– Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Why was the accountant in rehab?
– Solvency abuse.

Accounting for Dummies.
– What’s the big deal?
– Cr. Cash Dr. Dummies. Simple.

What is the slogan for being an accountant?
– Be audit you can be.

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
– “Doctor, I am struggling to sleep at night.”
– “Have you tried counting sheep?”, the doctor replies.
– “That’s the issue — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
– The accountant knows he’s boring.

‘Mr Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of £1,000 in cash.
– As he left I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.

Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do you call two accounting peers in the same firm?
– Countempories.

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