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Accounting puns in 2025

Why don’t old accountants die?
– They just lose their balance!

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
– “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
– “Have you tried counting sheep?”
– “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

Why do accountant sheepdogs bring back more sheep than the farmer started with?
– Because they are asked to round them up.

Why does an accountant enjoy the weekend so much?
– Because they can wear their own clothes to work.

Be audit you can be.

There are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.

Working capital does not.

Accountants can be quite hard to read.
– I find it very difficult to judge their accrual intentions.

How did the accountant die?
– He lost his balance.

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
– They find bookkeeping too exciting.

How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft?
– When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

Two things in life are inevitable
– : death and taxes. At least death only happens once.

Why did the jam business fail?
– Because the finances were spread too thin.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
– It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……

Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
– Because on the box it said Concentrate.

Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do accountants love to receive as gifts?
– Asset of glasses.

Why doesn’t Santa have his own accountant?
– Because he is elf employed.

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