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Accounting puns in 2025

‘Mr Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of £1,000 in cash.
– As he left I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.

Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What do you call two accounting peers in the same firm?
– Countempories.

How does an accountant stay out of debt?
– He learns to act his wage.

How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
– Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

Accountants tend to mature very quickly
– because they know how to act their wage.

There are two key rules for building your successful accounting business
: 1) Don’t tell them everything you know 2) [Redacted]

How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?
– He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!

What’s grey on the inside and red on the outside?
– An accountant turned inside out.

Accountants don’t die, they get derecognized

What is an accountant’s favorite animal?
– Tax manian devil.

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

Did you hear about the fraudulent Irish Finance Director?
– He burned his office down trying to cook the books.

The student said. ‘ I see. The ethics question is do I tell the client?’
– ‘Wrong answer!’

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
– Depreciation.

Why did the accountant ask his colleague to sit further away from him?
– Because it was an equation of personal space.

Did you hear about the blonde Management Accountant?
– She went to see her fitness trainer to talk about stretch targets.

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