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Accounting puns in 2025

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant.
– Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?”
– The business owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”

If it’s raining really hard you can be sure to find your accountant hiding under the tax shelter.

You know you are an accountant when
… You can easily find the balance (even at Yoga classes)!

It’s accrual world.

An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy.
– The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following.

What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
– A late night.

When an accountant is facing a huge issue they say they have a mammath problem on their plate.

Why do accountants need such big libraries?
– Because they have so many books to keep.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
– Lost.

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
– How much money do you have?

What did the overworked accountant say to the other accountant?
– I feel so under depreciated.

A man was told by a doctor that he only had six months to live.
– The doctor advised him to marry an accountant. “Why?” he asked, “Will it make me live longer?”
– The doctor replied: “No, but it will make those six months seem much longer.”

What is the definition of “accountant”?
– Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Why was the accountant in rehab?
– Solvency abuse.

Accounting for Dummies.
– What’s the big deal?
– Cr. Cash Dr. Dummies. Simple.

What is the slogan for being an accountant?
– Be audit you can be.

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
– “Doctor, I am struggling to sleep at night.”
– “Have you tried counting sheep?”, the doctor replies.
– “That’s the issue — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
– The accountant knows he’s boring.

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