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Accounting puns in 2025

Every single person in the accounting department counts.

Why does Dior need accountants?
– Because they have so many scents.

Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
– For buttering up her clients.

What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
– Lonely.

What does CPA stand for?
– Can’t Pass Again.

What’s an accountant’s favorite clothing store?
– GAP of course.

How can you tell if an accountant is very good at managing their own finance?
– If even their own bank says their balance is outstanding.

What do you call an accountant who says he’s posted a one-sided journal?
– A liar!! Under Sarbox rules it just can’t happen! Can it??!!

An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.

What do accountants say when they are leaving?
– Calc-u-later.

Where do accountants want to go when they die?
– To haven.

What does an accountant say when boarding a train?
– ‘Mind the GAAP’.

What do accountants do for fun?
– Add the telephone book!

Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant?
– The accountant is $1 million shy and hence is retiring.

Where do accountants like to eat their lunch?
– In the counteen.

Why are accountants so quick at reading novels?
– Because the only numbers in them are the page numbers at the bottom.

Why don’t accountants read novels?
– Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

How was copper wire invented?
– 2 accountants were arguing over a penny.

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