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Axe puns in 2025

What do you call a man with a knife in his belly, an axe in his back and an arrow in his head?
– An ambulance.

Do not be a pain in the axe.

“When firefighters lose their jobs, are they fired or given the axe?”

Today, someone told me that, in the next Avengers movie, the Thor Hammer was replaced with a Thor Axe.
– My first thought was “What kind of lame weapon is an insect abdomen?”

The Hero: I’m on a quest to avenge the death of my Father!
– The Paladin: You have my sword!

– The Elf: And my bow!

– The Dwarf: And my axe!

– The Necromancer: And your father!

The most obvious difference between a lumberjack and other professions is that the lumberjack will get the axe after being hired.

I have been spending 3 hours looking for my new axe, and suddenly it hits me.

You did an axe-ellent job cutting down that tree!

AXE products claim if you smell good, women will be all over you, but that can’t be right
– I’ve never had any problems with my nose and I’m still single.

What did Wolverine use to cut down trees before he got the adamantium treatment?
– He used a huge axe, man.

When you are recovering from an injury, you would say that “I am back in axe-tion”

My friends got together to play electric guitar, but the distance from the wall to their axes was too great…
– Luckily, they had a power chord.

I had an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln…
– The head was replaced once and the handle twice but I got documented proof it belong to Abraham Lincoln.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Good friends are like trees
– They both fall if you hit them hard enough with an axe.

Do you know what do trees and people have in common? Both of them always fall down when being hit many times with a shape axe.

I love your random axes of kindness!

“I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed. It wasn’t very cleaver.”

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