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Axe puns in 2025

I came home to find an axe buried in my pc
– I think it has been hacked

I axe myself whether it is really necessary to chop down that tree in my garden.

I pulled over a truck going 80 miles an hour in a 55 zone. He had a cargo of axe-like tools used for shaping large pieces of wood.
– He was hauling adze!

A lumberjack chooses a tree to chop down. Before he has a chance to swing his axe, the tree exclaims, “WAIT! Don’t do this! I’m a talking tree!”
– The lumberjack responds, “Good. Then you will dialogue.”

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
– Cutting your toe off with an axe

Whats the difference between being a lumberjack and any other job?
– You get the axe when you’re hired not fired.

During a biology lesson, the teacher asks her student “What separates your head from your body? The student innocently answers “The axe!”

Sorry mate, I broke your axe head…
– Hope you can handle it.

What is Ant-Man’s secret weapon?
– His Thor Axe

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth
Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent

It is not simple to understand what these lumberjacks are trying to say because they speak with a thick axe – cent.

I have got an axe to grind with you!

Do you hear about the lumberjack who loses his job today? His manager just gives him the axe!

I killed a dentist with an axe but only got charged with manslaughter.
– My lawyer said it was an axe-a-dental death.

Just tried to kill a roach with axe body spray…
…now his name is Brett and he won’t shut up about cross-fit.

The axe says to the wood “I need to axe you a question”. The wood then replies to the axe “Wood you cut it out?

I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
– It wasn’t very cleaver.

A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made …
– ” Oh no iv runed it”

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