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Axe puns in 2024

“Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one. “

Did you hear about the woodcutter who lost his job?
– His boss gave him the axe.

A man climbs on the tree with his axe. He drops the axe on another man below and says “Oh I am really sorry for that, it is just an axe – cident!”

A book is like an ice – axe that can break the frozen seas in our soul.

“My friends got together to play electric guitar, but the distance from the wall to their axes was too great. Luckily, they had a power chord!”

Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
– He heard it involved axes.

Friends are like trees
– They fall down when you hit them with an axe

There are only 2 things are certain in life: axes and death. The latter is often followed by the former.

I have a scar from an axe on my finger
– It was an axident

Thanks for starting the fire. I appreciate your random axe of kindness!

What does a Homicidal Lumberjack smell like?
– Axe Body Spray

How do you get an axe out of an egg?
– You hatchet!

The time for the peace conference has ended, now it is the time for axe-ing.

I’m the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln…
– I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.

I came home to find an axe buried in my pc
– I think it has been hacked

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says “Sorry, It was an axe-cident!”

People are like trees
– If you hit them with an axe, they die.

I still remember the last words that my grandpa talked to me before she passed away last night “Hey John, what are you doing with your axe?”

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