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Axe puns in 2024

Thanks for starting the fire. I appreciate your random axe of kindness!

What does a Homicidal Lumberjack smell like?
– Axe Body Spray

How do you get an axe out of an egg?
– You hatchet!

The time for the peace conference has ended, now it is the time for axe-ing.

I’m the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln…
– I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.

I came home to find an axe buried in my pc
– I think it has been hacked

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says “Sorry, It was an axe-cident!”

People are like trees
– If you hit them with an axe, they die.

I still remember the last words that my grandpa talked to me before she passed away last night “Hey John, what are you doing with your axe?”

Do you know why the monster decides to purchase an axe? Because it wants to a-head in life!

“What do you call it when an axe lands on your feet? An Axe-ident.”

Why did Thor throw his axe at Thanos’s chest, instead of cutting off the hand with the gauntlet?
– Because he was going for the kill shot instead of disarming him.

Friends are like trees.
– If you chop them down with an axe they will die.

During an important battle in the ancient time, a soldier talked to his comrade “Just take a few minutes to rel – axe! I do not want to give you a splitting headache!”

A disgruntled employee of an axe throwing establishment was leaving one-star Yelp reviews
– Apparently it was a real hatchet job

You should axe yourself whether it’s really necessary to chop down that tree next to the woodshed.

Why was the spreadsheet afraid of its chart?
– Because it has multiple axes.

If I was an executioner, I’d prefer to use an axe
– It’d be easier to get ahead.

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