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Axe puns in 2025

Do you know why the monster decides to purchase an axe? Because it wants to a-head in life!

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“What do you call it when an axe lands on your feet? An Axe-ident.”

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Why did Thor throw his axe at Thanos’s chest, instead of cutting off the hand with the gauntlet?
– Because he was going for the kill shot instead of disarming him.

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Friends are like trees.
– If you chop them down with an axe they will die.

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During an important battle in the ancient time, a soldier talked to his comrade “Just take a few minutes to rel – axe! I do not want to give you a splitting headache!”

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A disgruntled employee of an axe throwing establishment was leaving one-star Yelp reviews
– Apparently it was a real hatchet job

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You should axe yourself whether it’s really necessary to chop down that tree next to the woodshed.

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Why was the spreadsheet afraid of its chart?
– Because it has multiple axes.

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If I was an executioner, I’d prefer to use an axe
– It’d be easier to get ahead.

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Please do not axe me, I do not know how to handle it.

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Axe

– gives me head-axe.

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Axe should make a deodorant called “English.”
– Then if you wear it you can say you have an “English Axe scent.”

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People are like trees
 They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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My friend got arrested for saying he was an axe murderer.
– Turns out he’s just a really bad guitarist.

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I have been spending 3 last hours just looking for my axe. And then it suddenly hits me!

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Two soldiers in the army look at the battle and say “There are so many enemies! This is so axe-citing!”

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“I spent the last three hours looking for my axe. Then, it suddenly hit me!”

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What does an academic dwarf call his axes?
– x and y.

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