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Axe puns in 2025

Please do not axe me, I do not know how to handle it.

Axe…
– gives me head-axe.

Axe should make a deodorant called “English.”
– Then if you wear it you can say you have an “English Axe scent.”

People are like trees
 They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

My friend got arrested for saying he was an axe murderer.
– Turns out he’s just a really bad guitarist.

I have been spending 3 last hours just looking for my axe. And then it suddenly hits me!

Two soldiers in the army look at the battle and say “There are so many enemies! This is so axe-citing!”

“I spent the last three hours looking for my axe. Then, it suddenly hit me!”

What does an academic dwarf call his axes?
– x and y.

What do friends and trees have in common?
– They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

For many people, throwing axes at animals or plants can be a random axe of violence.

What do you call it when you break your pick axe while working?
– A miner inconvenience

I’m sorry man I think I broke your axe head
 Hope you can handle fixing it

Middle schoolers are
– Axe-holes

Fill in the blank: Friends are like_____
– mine is “Friends are like trees, if you hit them with an axe they fall over.”

It is a new axe for women!

Why did Johnny Appleseed carry an axe?
– To have better axe-ess to apples.

– As told by my 8 year old.

In avengers endgame when Thor cuts off thanos’ head with an axe some blood hits nebula.
– I guess you could she’s covered in axe body spray.

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