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Baby puns in 2025

If a baby refuses to go to sleep…
– Is she resisting arrest?

Did you know you can get a wooden car seat?
– It comes with a sign that says, “Baby on Board.”

Mrs. Goat: “Honey, we’re going to have a baby!”
– Mr. Goat: “You’re kidding.”

The moment baby falls asleep…
– The phone rings, the siblings fight, the door slams, and the dogs bark. Never fails!

Did you hear about the pear who had triplets?
– She became a pear-ant and enjoyed the fruits of her labor!

The baby computer spoke his first word when he called his dad, da-ta.

When the pregnant goat informed her husband that she is pregnant, he told her
– “Oh my Goat! You are kidding!”

Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and Baby Tomato are walking down the road.
– Baby Tomato starts to lag behind.
– Papa Tomato becomes angry, goes up to Baby Tomato, squeezes him, and says, “Catch up!”

How did the baby almost get her and her mom kicked out of the crowded theater?
– She yelled, “pacifier!”

Did you hear about the collie pup who liked to give kisses?
– She was col-licky!

What do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles?
– Stop laughing and untie him from the ceiling fan.

A friend just told me that my daughter and my wife look like twins.
– I said, “Well, they were separated at birth!”

Do you know how Stonehenge came to be?
– By Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.

I would make a joke about newborns…
– But the delivery would be too painful.

Do you know why babies born on holidays are more than likely to be little girls?
– Because there is no mail delivery on holidays.

When Olaf the snowman had a baby,
– he put a snowmobile on his baby’s crib.

For expecting mothers, having a baby is worth the weight.

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn’t have teddy bears. You know why?
– He had real bears.

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