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Baby puns in 2025

Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
– He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?”
– His mother replied, “He came from heaven, Johnny.”
– Johnny exclaimed, “Wow… I can see why they threw him out!”

Where do baby fish sleep?
– In a bass-inet.

My baby accidentally ate a lot of scrabble tiles. The next diaper change will spell disaster.

Willy: “Mom, are our neighbors poor people?”
– Mother: “I don’t think so, Willy. Why do you ask?”
– Willy: “Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.”

Tell me, does the stork deliver babies with their diapers on?
– No, they’re stork naked!

A group of baby soldiers is called an infantry.

What do you call a newborn baby?
– Anything you want.

How warm is a baby at birth?
– Womb temperature.

Why is that baby still in diapers?
– I’ll give you two reasons: number 1 and number 2.

Did you hear about the collie pup who liked to give kisses?
– She was col-licky!

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?
– An infantry.

Do you remember what you used to call your security blanket when you were little?
– No, I’m drawing a blankie!

Parents usually change their baby’s diapers during the wee wee hours.

I told my friends a joke about birth complications, but no one laughed.
– It must have come out wrong.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
– What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
– “It’s pasture bed time.”

If you want an astronaut’s baby to sleep, you need to rocket.

The best remedy for a baby pig suffering from a diaper rash is an oinkment.

A baby’s laugh is one of the most beautiful things you will ever hear…
– Unless it is 3 a.m., you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.

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