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Bagel puns in 2024

What kind of cheese does Bruce Lee put in his bagel?
– Cream Chi.

What is the name of a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
– Hole Foods.

There was a huge conflict between bagels and donuts. Donuts claimed that their jobs were stolen by bagels. However, bagels contended that they needed something to earn their bread and butter!

I tried a different kind of bagel today. It was half of a bagel and half of a muffin. I think it was a hybread!

It’s hard to trust bagels, and you shouldn’t either.
– They seem seedy at times!

What did the bagel say when he was about to get eaten at breakfast?
– Excuse me, but I’d like to propose a toast!

My wife and I were deciding what to eat for breakfast when she asked, “Have you ever tried raisin bagels?”
I replied, “I didn’t know you could raise bagels.”

Why did the court not register the case against the bagels?
– Because there was a hole in the argument against them!

Once the bagel got locked in his own house, so he had to call a loxsmith!

I saw a bird today. It was eating a gluten free bagel.
– It must be a millennial falcon

Bagels love costume parties and dressing up on their favorite holiday as they have Halloween in the middle!

I once saw a French tourist who wore a scarf in the form of a bagel. He complained that it was plain in the neck!

What type of bagel can fly?
– Plain Bagel

What is the best way to hold back a bagel?
– You put lox on it.

How do you make Bagels?…
– You use a little Judo.

What kind of bagel can fly?
– A plain bagel.

What kind of bagel did shamanist Carlos Castaneda prefer to eat?
– He liked the Astral plain ones!

What do you call a bagel in fancy dress?
– A donut.

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