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Bagel puns in 2025

The bagel and a pastor were having a big quarrel about purity and holiness. The bagel angrily replied, “I am holier than thou”.

What kind of bagel can fly?
– A plain bagel.

If Superman came from the planet of bagels, his original name would have been Bag-El.

Ever since I became a pilot, I can only eat one type of bagel.
– Plain.

My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said “give me one of the Spanish bagels”. He responded ” One of the Spanish Bagels?”
– Ay poppy

Protect your bagels.
– Put lox on them.

What kind of pain is worse than donut stings?
– When a Bagel bites.

The seagulls fly above the sea for what reason?
– If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels!

It is not easy to trust bagels, and so you shouldn’t. They seem seedy at times!

Bagels have huge trouble putting make-up on them. No matter what happens, they always schmear it!

Prisoners are served only plain bagels as the authorities are concerned they may pick up the lox!

What’s a pilot’s favorite kind of bagel?
– Plain.

A bagel is halloween the middle.

What kind of a bagel did the smart man eat?
– He ate an everything special bagel!

The common thing about bagels and holidays is that they are both toasted!

My friends in Germany were complaining that they couldn’t find a good bagel anywhere…
well whose fault is that?

My wife and I had a strange conversation yesterday. She asked if I wanted some raisin bagels, but I was bewildered as I didn’t know it was possible to raise bagels!

I recently read an interesting trivia about bagels. One kind of bagel was first sold in a petrol pump and could be got in exchange for a specific coin. Guess that is why they are called pumpernickel bagels.

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