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Bagel puns in 2025

What do you deserve thats also a type of bagel?
– EVERYTHING.

Why was the bagel called lazy?
– He was slow to rise.

Which author did the bagels have to read if they took philosophy in college?
– Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Bagel.

What do you call a bakery that only sells bagels and donuts?
– Hole foods.

The bagel took part in an election, but he lost it. He was, unfortunately, a part of the schmear campaign!

What type of bagel can fly?
– A plain bagel.

My friends in Germany complained that they couldn’t find a good bagel anywhere;
well who’s to blame?

What did the bagel say when he was about to get eaten at breakfast?
– Excuse me, but I’d like to propose a toast!

Customer: Can I buy a bagel with cream cheese?
Worker: No, we only take cash.

What did the husband bagel tell his wife on their honeymoon?
– We are bae-goals!

Did the bagel say anything to the pastor?
– “I’m holier than you”.

Only plain bagels are served in prisons as the authorities suspect that the prisoners would pick the loxs!

What kind of bagel can fly?
– A plain bagel.

Ever since I became a pilot, I can eat only one type of bagel.
– Plain.

Why can’t blueberry bagels fly?
– Because, then they would be plane bagels.

Today I went to a college visit, and in order to speed up the line for food I just grabbed some butter for my bagel and put it in my pocket
My sister said, oh no, it almost fell out! You butter watch it! ;D
I’m so proud of her, I’ve raised her well

What is a bagel that hails from Jamaica is called?
– Cinna-mon Bagel!

The most common bagel which is loved by pilots and aerospace engineers is the plane bagel.

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