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Bagel puns in 2025

It is not easy to trust bagels, and so you shouldn’t. They seem seedy at times!

Bagels have huge trouble putting make-up on them. No matter what happens, they always schmear it!

Prisoners are served only plain bagels as the authorities are concerned they may pick up the lox!

What’s a pilot’s favorite kind of bagel?
– Plain.

A bagel is halloween the middle.

What kind of a bagel did the smart man eat?
– He ate an everything special bagel!

The common thing about bagels and holidays is that they are both toasted!

My friends in Germany were complaining that they couldn’t find a good bagel anywhere…
well whose fault is that?

My wife and I had a strange conversation yesterday. She asked if I wanted some raisin bagels, but I was bewildered as I didn’t know it was possible to raise bagels!

I recently read an interesting trivia about bagels. One kind of bagel was first sold in a petrol pump and could be got in exchange for a specific coin. Guess that is why they are called pumpernickel bagels.

What kind of bagel can fly?
– A plane one

Is there anything ghosts put on their bagels?
– Scream Cheese.

What do you deserve thats also a type of bagel?
– EVERYTHING.

Why was the bagel called lazy?
– He was slow to rise.

Which author did the bagels have to read if they took philosophy in college?
– Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Bagel.

What do you call a bakery that only sells bagels and donuts?
– Hole foods.

The bagel took part in an election, but he lost it. He was, unfortunately, a part of the schmear campaign!

What type of bagel can fly?
– A plain bagel.

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