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Bike puns in 2025

My Bike Is Absolutely Disgusting These Days. You Should See The Skidmarks.

I was far quicker on my bike today than yesterday.
– I was in a totally different gear.

I bought a stationary bike…
– But I don’t see myself getting anywhere with it.

I illegally cut down some trees when I was out building a trail.
– Nobody witnessed anything but my chain saw.

What did the mountain biker do when he got caught out by a storm?
– Cycleone.

I Cycled Through A Meadow The Other Day And My Bike Looks Much Prettier Now.
– I’ve Got A Daisy Chain.

I can’t stand it when my bike keeps falling over.

A policeman told me my dog is chasing people on a bike.
– I told him my dog doesn’t even have a bike.

“They’re after us, let’s pedaddle!”
– Pedalophile

Even though my friend is an amazing unicyclist, I can’t get him to be himself in social situations.
– He just doesn’t like bars.

Do you know the difference between a cyclist and a tricyclist?
– Attire.

A Nostalgic Mate’s Bike Broke The Same Day He F*Cked Up A Mixtape He Was Making For His Girlfriend. Now He Needs A New Cassette.

There’s a little shop round the corner that does a roaring trade in removing a single eye from cyclists. It’s called Cycle-Ops.

Why did all the gym members sign the bike?
– Because it was stationary.

I’d make a contribution to this thread, but I’ve gotta make like a wheel and roll.

Apparently, the winner of the bike race rode a different way than he used to.
– He himself confessed that he felt he was on a different gear.

I changed my bike’s tires for the last time. It was time for retirement.

There’s a vampire bike around here that keeps biting other cyclists.
– It’s a vicious cycle.

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