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Bike puns in 2025

Did you know Alfred Hitchcock used to be a fan of downhill mountain biking.
– He was a master of suspension.

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes.
– That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

I took my new bike back to the shop and said the pedals didn’t work. Chap asked why I thought it was called a push bike.

But after a while, his bad suspension dampened his excitement for riding the bike.

So your birthday has rolled around again…
– have a wheelie good time!

I lycra your new bike.

Just had the police tell my my dog attacked someone on a bike
– I said it couldn’t have been my dog, he doesn’t own a bike

“Descending Hardknott Pass at 80mph, the cyclist tested positive for SPEED.”

What does a mountain biker do when he wants to achieve more balance?
– He hires a cycleologist.

There’s really only one wheel difference between a bike and a trike.

My brother went crazy when I took his last piece of candy.
– He’s a cycle path.

I used to know a little boy who took his bike to bed.
– He didn’t want to sleep walk.

I saw a chap painting pictures of bikes on a local church roof.
– Cycleangelo.

What’s the difference between a farmer on a bicycle and a lawyer on a unicycle?
– Attire.

Congratulations on your re-tire-ment.

I cry whenever I go over my handlebars.
– My mates always say I need to get a grip.

Why is riding a bike, jumping off, then riding a bike again good for the environment?
– Because its recycling.

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
– A tyre.

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