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Calculus puns in 2024

My Calculus Professor is having a tough time adjusting to retired life.
He can’t seem to deal with the aftermath.

What do you call a wizard who is good at calculus?
– A mathemagician

You can actually do calculus under the influence
– you just need to know your limits.

Just taught my 6yr old calculus and advanced physics. Amazing what kids can learn.
– Which happens to be jack shit.

I failed my calculus exam in college because I was seated between two identical twins.
– I couldn’t differentiate between them.

I named my penis calculus
– Cause Ill never use it in my life.

I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
– It was very difficult to differentiate between them.

My calculus teacher had a lisp, but he was brilliant…
– A real mathter.

Why don’t calculus majors party?
– Because they can not drink and derive

When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his calculus lesson.
– He remembered to add the sea.

Being good at calculus in your later life is like…
…the after-math

What do you call a recycled calculus pun?
– Derivative humor.

Dad: you should really take a break from studying calculus all day…
….how can you even function ?

If you are taking a calculus exam, don’t sit between two identical twins.
– It’s very difficult to differentiate between them.

I’ll do algebra, I’ll put up with calculus, I’ll even push through trigonometry…
– But graphing is where I draw the line!

What did the calculus professor name his newborn son?
– Mathew

Why are pirates the best at calculus?
– Because a true pirate never forgets the C.

I’m from Mississippi and I was the only black kid in my Calculus 2 class
Seems like Mississippi still has a problem with

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integration

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