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Chair puns in 2025

I went to the market to buy a new chair for home and soon found myself a great chair with an amazing back rest.
– But, it would be an expensive choice so I decided to sit on it for some time and buy it later.

How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair?
– Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.

My paraplegic girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheel chair…
– Next thing I knew, she came crawling back to me

There was this truck carrying a lot of chairs of varying sizes that overturned on the highway, spilling all the furniture everywhere.
This really was a serious case of loose stools.

What did Hitler call his recliner?
– Mein Kampf-y Chair.

I usually sit on a computer 12 hours a day now… I think its bad for my health
– I should sit on a chair.

For charity, a chair was sent up into the sky with a help of a balloon.
The organizers named the event the Hot Chair Balloon.

What do you call Elvis Presley when he sings a song while sitting on a chair?
– You call him Pelvis Restly!

Judge: “You have been found unanimously guilty of using clickbait, and I sentence you to death by electric chair.”
– What happens next will shock you.

What do you call a good looking chair?
– Chair-is-matic!

I recently bought a recliner for myself.
I know that if I don’t like it, I can always take it back.

A blind man walks into a bar…
– and a table… and a chair.

A woman decides to surprise her husband at work, and walks into his office to find him talking on the phone and his very attractive secretary perched on his lap.
– As soon as he sees his wife, the husband speak into the phone, “And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue running this office with only one chair.”

I was at a magic show recently where the magician had an act where he disappeared while sitting on a chair in front of our eyes.
Guess, he just vanished into thin chair.

What do you tell a person at the party who wants to dance? “Can I have your chair, please?”

I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes.
– I usually end up stabbing the chair.

What do 1900s muders and teenager’s dirty clothes have in common?
– They go to the chair

All the chairs were trapped inside one room by their enemies.
They were slow dying inside the room
– because the chair supply had been cut off.

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