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Chair puns in 2025

Grandpa: what has 4 legs but isn’t alive?
Little Timmy: haha it’s a chair nice try gra-
Grandpa:it’s your dog Timmy he’s dead

I was looking for a job and ended up at the Employment centre.
– Being a carpenter, I asked if there were any furniture-related jobs, They asked me to take a seat.

What genre of music does an electric chair usually like listening to?
– It listens to death metal.

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?

“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

My wife hated my impulse purchase of an expensive revolving chair, but then she sat on it.
– Eventually she came around.

My husband wasn’t thrilled at the fact that I had bought an expensive revolving chair for my work from home.
– But, after using for a while, he came around.

What happened when you tried to sit on the old antique chair that you ordered all the way from Greece?
– The chair baroque.

A paralyzed man got a new set of legs from a death row inmate.
– Don’t worry, the other guy got the chair.

A drunk man walks into a bar
– Then into a table, and then into a chair.

When I was moving from one house to the other, I decided to donate all my old tables and chairs.
I guess I am just doing my bit for chairity.

Why did the police beat the black man after he was executed in the electric chair?
– He was resisting.

A woman walked into the dentist’s clinic very nervously and said, “I’m scared. I’d rather have a baby than get a tooth pulled out.”
– “Fine with me,” said the dentist, “but I’ll have to adjust the chair.”

When some of my office colleagues pranked me by stealing my chair, I decided that I am not going to take the prank sitting down.

Where does a kind chair spend most of their money?
– On chairity.

A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.
Yes, replied the murderer. Will you hold my hand?

I got in a fight with a guy in a wheel chair the other day
– He won’t be walking for weeks

I once tried to do a daredevil stunt by eating pieces of a broken chair.
Well, it didn’t really sit well with my digestive system and stomach.

What do you call a chair that is kept in a castle among the mountains?
– You call it a high chair.

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