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Chair puns in 2025

Helen Keler walked into a bar
– then a table…..then a chair.

I have the eyes of an artist, the mind of a scientist, the hands of a pianist, and the heart of a child.
– Now I’m getting the electric chair after I was caught trying to get the liver of a politician.

When Senator Percy Chair became President of the United States, the president’s plane was known as Chair Force One.

Why can a person sitting on a chair never win a wrestling battle royal?
– Because the winner has to be the last man standing.

Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something.
– So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said “You can shut up or go outside, I’ve got an exam tomorrow”.

3,000 male cows are playing musical chairs. What happens when the music stops?
– A whole lot of bulls sit.

While experimenting in the science lab, the scientists put an explosive device on a supposedly indestructive chair.
When they turned on the device, the force of the explosion was so much that it created a chair boom.

Lawn chairs are terrible at poker or other gambling games
– because they always fold.

My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to use the chair lift to go upstairs.
– It is driving him up the wall.

When the tensions between the two chairs of the executive committee couldn’t be solved with the help of peace talks, they decided to have a physical contest of chair-knuckle fighting to decide who is better.

Criminal on the electric chair. The officer ask: Any last wishes?
– The criminal: Please hold my hand..

It’s my cake day or something, Here’s a dad joke 🙂
A blind man walks into a bar,
And then a table,
And then a chair.

My chair had a weird problem. It would suddenly get very warm and needed to be cooled down.
My carpenter suggested that I turn on the chair conditioner.

What name did the Spanish people give to musical chairs?
– They call it the despa-seat-o.

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?
14,000.
1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

Did you know that Thomas Jefferson invented the swivel chair
– Guess he really loved Revolutions after all.

I was extremely sad when my grandpa’s favorite rocking chair got destroyed in the earthquake.
I will always chairish the memories.

I have never seen a chair with wheels be this rusty and move this slow. What is this, a sloth chair?

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