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Clock puns in 2025

The book on chronology I ordered has finally arrived in the mail. It’s about time.

For sale: Clock with half a face. For a limited time only.

I tried to eat a clock the other day. it was very time consuming

My grandfather’s pendulum stopped moving out of nowhere. I think it lost its swing.

I was thinking about an old car I owned that got stuck in first gear. That took me back.

I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn’t find the thyme…

Went to a fancy dress party as an alarm clock. Got really irritated, everyone was winding me up.

What did the wall clock do after it stopped ticking?
– It just hanged around.

Why should you never dress up as an alarm clock at a fancy dress party?
– People might end up winding you up.

The wristwatch didn’t believe the story the clock was telling it. It was second hand information.

Have you ever tried eating a clock?
– It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

If her age is on the clock she gets the cock

Why do you think there was a clock in the forest?
– Because it was a time-out.

It is never good to talk about secrets around a watch because time will tell.

My best friend and I played hide and seek today. It went on for hours. Good friends are hard to find.

What did the robber say to the clock?

– Hands up!

I don’t have time to write this joke.

My mother has a fascinating, tense clock. But it is all wound up.

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