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Computer puns in 2025

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

– Nothing.

Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.

Why did the computer spy get fired?
– She couldn’t hack it.

I sat down by my computer after a long time, and there was a hacker who had illegally developed a website on my computer. It was a highly skilled spider looking right at me.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll.

Did you hear about the woman whose daughter adopted a baby?
– Instagram.

We have ten types of people.
– One understands binary, and the other doesn’t.

My computer is taking non-stop screenshots.
– I know for sure it is not in its right mind.

It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

Have you heard of that new band “1023 Megabytes”?
– They’re pretty good, but they don’t have a gig just yet.

The shark and the computer are so alike.
– They both have and use their megabytes.

Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad.
– Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.

Why was the computer cold?
– It left it’s Windows open!

What is a computer virus?
– A terminal illness!

How did the computer get out of the house?

– He used windows.

What do hackers do on a boat?
– Phishing.

My father said that there was a bug on my computer.
– The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.

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