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Computer puns in 2025

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history
– with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
– Because it was looking for a byte to eat?

Why was the computer cold?
– It left it’s Windows open!

I can relate to my computer so much.
– Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.

What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
– It went data way!

The computer spy was fired because she couldn’t hack it.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.

Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
– They were Prime mates.

How does a computer get drunk?
– It takes screenshots.

When data cannot drive on his own, it waits at the bus stand.

My computer keeps freezing every now and then,
– I am sure it is sick with a cold and a virus.

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

We’ll we’ll we’ll…
– if it isn’t autocorrect.

My computer is so slow it’s running in the ’90s.

If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.

Why did the computer squeak?
– Because someone stepped on it’s mouse!

Why was there a bug in the computer?
– Because it was looking for a byte to eat.

Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
– He touched the firewall.

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