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Computer puns in 2025

We have ten types of people.
– One understands binary, and the other doesn’t.

My computer is taking non-stop screenshots.
– I know for sure it is not in its right mind.

It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

Have you heard of that new band “1023 Megabytes”?
– They’re pretty good, but they don’t have a gig just yet.

The shark and the computer are so alike.
– They both have and use their megabytes.

Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad.
– Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.

Why was the computer cold?
– It left it’s Windows open!

What is a computer virus?
– A terminal illness!

What do hackers do on a boat?
– Phishing.

My father said that there was a bug on my computer.
– The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables.
– It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

How did the computer get out of the house?

– He used windows.

Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.

My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use.
– Now I have a screen-saver at my house.

What do computers do on a beach vacation?
– Surf the net.

“I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

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