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Computer puns in 2025

What do hackers do on a boat?
– Phishing.

My father said that there was a bug on my computer.
– The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables.
– It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

How did the computer get out of the house?

– He used windows.

Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.

My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use.
– Now I have a screen-saver at my house.

What do computers do on a beach vacation?
– Surf the net.

“I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
– They told me I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
– To get to the other slide.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history
– with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
– Because it was looking for a byte to eat?

Why was the computer cold?
– It left it’s Windows open!

I can relate to my computer so much.
– Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.

What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
– It went data way!

The computer spy was fired because she couldn’t hack it.

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